Seen at Horse Act - Mutual Respect

Marlies, a young marketing manager, had recently been promoted and was struggling to lead her new team. Her boss sent her to me, hoping she would gain insights into leadership and trust. When Marlies arrived at our retreat, I greeted her with a warm smile. Together, we walked to the paddock where Oya, my strong-willed alpha mare, was peacefully grazing.

"Tell me more about the challenges you're currently facing," I asked as we watched Oya. Marlies shared how difficult it was to earn her team's trust. I listened attentively and nodded in understanding.

"Today, we’re going to work with Oya," I told her. "She’s highly sensitive to people's energy and intentions. Let’s see what she can teach us." I asked Marlies to lead Oya through the paddock without using a halter or rope. She hesitantly stepped toward Oya, but my mare raised her head and stepped back.

"Try greeting her first and building a connection," I suggested. "Use your body language and be patient." Marlies took a deep breath and approached again, this time more slowly, with her hand outstretched. Oya sniffed her hand and seemed to accept her. Marlies felt slightly more comfortable and tried again to lead Oya, but the horse still wouldn’t follow.

"What do you think is going wrong?" I asked gently.

Marlies paused for a moment. "Maybe she feels like I’m trying to force her."

"Exactly," I replied. "Try treating her as a partner, not as someone you need to control."

Marlies nodded and adjusted her approach. She walked beside Oya, staying calm and applying no pressure. Slowly, Oya began walking next to her. Marlies smiled, surprised.

"Do you see how she’s now willing to follow you?" I asked. "That’s because you respect her and give her space. Trust develops when there is mutual respect."

Oya mirrored Marlies’ emotions. When Marlies was uncertain and controlling, Oya kept her distance. But the moment Marlies became calm and respectful, Oya followed her willingly and with trust. Marlies felt a deep connection and understanding. She realized that her team needed the same thing as Oya: respect and the space to build trust. She left the session with a renewed sense of direction and a plan to approach her team with more respect.

As I watched her leave with a smile, I knew Oya had taught her an ancient but simple lesson. Mutual respect is the greatest motivator there is, but it requires trust. The two are inseparable.

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